I am in a vortex of obligation.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
