Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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