Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
