How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
