She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
