Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
