Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
