Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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