We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
