Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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