I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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