Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
