i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
