thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just high enough for therapy.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
