FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize