great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
