Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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