my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
