I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How does it feel to date your dad?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
