When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
