Nicole vs. Life
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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