How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So many bounce houses so little time
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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