The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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