She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
