you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
