Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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