I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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