Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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