she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
