I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
