whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
