im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
