I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
