Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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