i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
