spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
