i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I can't turn off my feet"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
