STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
