Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
