i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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