I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This girl is more easily done than said...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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