wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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