Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
