did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
