i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
a search helicopter?!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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