so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
