38 yer olds are good kisserssss
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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