yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize