Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
