I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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