Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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