I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She bit a glass in half.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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