every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
