We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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