So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
