yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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