I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
