You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
