i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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